Nice to know that some make their time in prison worthwhile.
No sympathy →
Hope this serves as a lesson to the thousands of SF cyclists who seem to think they own the road, pay no regard to traffic laws, and never wear helmets!
Seriously Impressive →
That's food? →
My people created the “Dick Stick”. Awesome.
Oh, San Francisco... →
You have been REJECTED
Today I got to play the part of a call center representative for your local Rejection Hotline. Apparently when you give out random numbers that you make up on the fly, it actually reaches a live person, and sometimes that person is me. So I’m plugging away at work when I see my phone light up with an unknown “408” number. Well, of COURSE I pick up the phone. Me: Hello? Strange...
Oh, the irony!! →
Love Note From Mom
Good morning Children, How are you all? You guys are awesome! :) Love, Mom
Preach It! →
Why can't we be friend, why can't we be friends... →
Aw, Internet giants are playing nice for once.
Two churches located across the street from each...
tithenai: wizasaur: -prettyprettyplease: ultraball: paranoidrobot: …Do the Presbyterians think Rocks are animals? ALL ROCKS GO TO HEAVEN CONVERTING TO CATHOLICISM DOES NOT MAGICALLY GRANT YOUR DOG A SOUL. WOW. EPIC CATHOLIC WIN. I LOVE THIS.
I’m glad none of my friends are as batshit crazy as this woman.
To laugh or to cry, that is the question.
If you’ve ever spent three hours sifting through stock photos then you can commiserate.
This is for the 2001 NCAA Championship loss →
Hope you enjoy the rest of the tournament… FROM HOME!
Putting their money where their mouth is →
Call me a cynic →
“Her predecessor was shot to death in July 2009.” Surely she was aware of the dangers she was getting herself into - drug-related crime is rampant in Mexico and there are headlines every day of the violence that ensues between cartels, law enforcement officers and civilians. While her initial goal to have police offers “go door-to-door looking for criminals and [teach] values to...
A Morford Rant On Charlie Sheen →
I'm giving up Lent for Lent
Just so we’re clear, I’m not giving up a damn thing for Lent. It’s true, I am agnostic. Despite being dutifully shuttled to Sunday services from the days when I was an infant (thanks a lot, Pastor Grandpa), I’ve never really felt in touch with God, JC or the Holy Spirit. And being dragged kicking and screaming when I was a bit older to a church where the patrons were...
Why We Get Along: Reason #3,727
L: Btw I'm starving. Dinner is small plates. Dinner will resemble a game of hungry hungry hippos. IT'S ON.
B: Game on baby.
There's this thing called fact-checking... →
Chocolate Covered Revelations
I had a nasty revelation yesterday. PMS exists. When I was growing up and going through that awkward puberty stage, I could never really empathize with other girls who had to stay home from school because of debilitating cramps or blamed their sudden urge to eat 20 pounds of chocolate on their monthly menstrual cycle. I smugly assumed that these girls were just whiny bitches who just wanted an...
You silly bitch →
Next, you’re going to tell me the Earth is flat and also the center of the universe!
What's in a name?
Let’s talk about baby names for a hot minute. I’ve noticed a few trends as of late, including the following: 1) Fruit (Apple) 2) An imaginary super-hero (Pilot Inspektor) 3) Aiden (Damn you, SATC) 4) Crazy spellings that your child will never find in magnet form (Maedylynne) 5) Names that were last at the height of its popularity in the 1800’s (Agnes, Fitzwilliam) 6)...
Yelp: Passive agression at its finest, one review... →
Fuck you, Coop’s.
You Asians all look the same
Me: now i'm trying to remember which one K is...
do you know how long it took me to learn all their names!
i'm like a bad white person
throw me into a group with lots of asians and my mind blanks on their names
(Disclaimer: I am not a self-loathing Asian. Merely a white-washed Asian.)
Screw you, ATT →
Verizon blows your shit out of the water. Always.
Hilarious and sweet. →
Why We Get Along: Reason #5,427
L: I look like a hot mess today. Fyi.
B: Not to worry you should see me
L: Ok. We can be one hot mess of a couple. Sweet.
Your eyes do not deceive you
Aww, it’s a miniature horse. Wait a minute… that horse has shoes on. Wait a minute… that man has a briefcase. Is that a Delta sign? What the… is the miniature horse at the airport? OH MY GOD IT’S A SEEING EYE HORSE!!!
Chonglish at its finest
A friend of mine lives in Hong Kong and she once told me about how the Chinese girls in HK will often pick English names for themselves. Often times, they are fluffy and cute names such as Rainbow or Snowflake. Other times, they are downright dirty. I won’t expound on those names, but just let your mind take a trip down to the gutter and I’m sure you can think of a few. But...
Bittersweet Ending →
Yet another reason why I’m happy to be flying Southwest exclusively.
Love Letter to the Normandy Residents
I found this post I had written about four months ago as I was preparing to move out of my old studio, but never posted them until now. As much as I loved that apartment and the location there were a couple of factors that convinced me to move from a life as an independent bachelorette up to the country to my current living situation as part of the Twin Peaks duo. Man, I had a lot of pent up...
So I Almost Dated An Axe-Murderer...
I have met a lot of crazy people and done a lot of stupid shit in my life. I suppose I’ve always had a carpe diem approach to things, justifying my actions by saying, “Well it seemed like a good idea at the time!” I don’t want to even get into some of the things I’ve done, lest I be judged, but let it suffice to say that I am shocked that I have never: - been arrested...
Your warm and fuzzy feel-good story of the day →
If I had it in me to shed tears, I would be bawling my eyes out.
Very clever proposal →
Sometimes I question the writers over at Groupon, and sometimes I think they’re actually pretty funny. This falls into the latter.